Behind The Mugshot: Tristan

December 23rd, 2014 by

In case you haven’t heard, #MugshotMonday is a weekly feature in the world of social media in which our staff steals the spotlight from our handsome coffee and tea.  You can find our mugshots on InstagramFacebook, and Twitter and follow along for more behind the scenes photos, new products, and discounts on staff favorites.

Meet Tristan, our Copy Writer and and one of our No-Shave November mugshots. Here he ponders a world without whiskers, dabbles in deflection, and shares a glimpse of his Dark Black soul.

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You are our Copy Writer, but if you could assign yourself an alternate profession, what might that be?

Captain aboard the Starship Enterprise. First Officer would be okay too. Just not the Chief Engineer. I’m not especially competent in the field of theoretical physics.

What is your preferred leisure-time reading material?

Most of the time, I read fantasy, horror, and sci-fi. HP Lovecraft is a favorite author of mine as are Ray Bradbury, Robert Heinlein, and Ayn Rand. I also read a lot of non-fiction centered on the middle ages. Currently, I’m infatuated with the Byzantine Empire and the 4th Crusade. I’m currently stalking a book on Amazon by a dude named Lars Brownworth called Lost to the West which explores Byzantine history through the eyes of some of its greatest and most infamous figures. I could go on like this ad nauseam so I’ll stop before you and I both end up asphyxiated from a lack of oxygen in the air.

What facial hair style or facial hair icon, from any time or place, real or fictitious, do you most admire?

Definitely Ambrose Burnside. If you are what you eat, then Mr. Burnside most certainly ate a legend. He was a pioneer in the art of beard design. Once, he was summarized as, “tall, just a little stout, wearing what was probably the most artistic and awe-inspiring set of whiskers in all the bewhiskered Union Army.” In other words, if we had no Burnside, we’d have no sideburns, and who would want to live in such a dreary de-whiskered world?

Assuming you were allowed to play, what was your favorite childhood toy/game?

It would be easier for me to deflect this question with humor than to actually answer it. Let’s just say my memory is known for being a little spotty and that conjuring up this information could prove to be quite taxing. I do recall enjoying my Ghostbuster toys immensely. During the day I’d zap ghosts and save the city, and at night, I stood them up in front of my bedroom door so they could protect me from any monster that might have been prowling through my house at night.

If you were a new addition to the crayon box, what color would you be and why?

Do I have to pick a color? The crayon box has shades in it too. The shades always get neglected. I feel bad for them. I’d want to be a shade… like Dark Black or some such.

If you could be any character in fiction, who would you be?

I’d want to be Eddard Stark from the Song of Ice and Fire series. Despite anything that might or might not happen (notice the lack of spoilers), he encompasses all the virtues I aspire to. He lives according to his own code and conscience, following it without reservation and without asking permission. Even in the most difficult of circumstances, he treats others with dignity and respect. Truly, Eddard Stark is the man.

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